Monkey Business

Female/ Female / Rapier & Dagger (R&D) / Single Sword (SS) / Smallsword (SmS) / Sword & Shield (S&S) / Male/Male / Comic / Broadsword (BS) / Male/ Female / Knife (Kn) / Quarterstaff (QS) / January 4, 2024

By Dan Cocca

Kai: A young martial artist, eager to prove himself and intolerant of foolishness. Has some seated anger
The Gatekeeper: A confident trickster who delights in pranks and jest. Secretly a clone of the Monkey
(A peaceful grove in the wilderness. Kai wanders into the scene, looking around. The Gatekeeper lounges
nearby out of his sight, but notices Kai and approaches by surprise)
G: How now, trespasser!
K: Who’s there?!
G: State your name!
K: I am Kai, and you had best have good reason to accost me! Who are YOU?!
G: I’m the Gatekeeper.
K: There’s no gate here.
G: Well of course not! I’m keeping it from you.
K: (Annoyed by the bad joke) Fare thee well, I’ve no time for ill japes. I must hurry to the Mountain of
G: Bound for the Mountain, are you?
K: As I said, I have no timeG: You’d better find some then! For the gate I keep leads to your destination.
K: You jest.
G: Frequently! But I never lie.
K: So I must gain your approval to begin climbing the Mountain.
G: Indeed! You’ll have no ascent unless you have my assent.
K: What manner of Gatekeeper are you, that jokes at every turn without any serious thought?
G: What manner of man are you, that takes no joy in what he does? Come now; for martial artists like
ourselves, there is but one way to truly examine one another.
K: Finally, something we can agree upon.
(They fight. The Gatekeeper is jovial and laughs throughout.)
K: Take me seriously, damn you!
G: Why should I? You do it enough for all the heavens!
(Fight continues)
G: (Dropping all humor) You are too much like the wildfire@ Martial arts demands you be as water!
Moving in harmony with the world, not raging against it! You would challenge the Mountain without even
understanding this? Now THAT is a bad joke.
K: (Taken aback) You deny me then?
G: Only if you refuse to learn.
(Kai collects himself, and the two square off once more. They fight, and as they do Kai begins to enjoy
himself. The fight concludes.)
G: Much better. Proceed along this path young Kai- the Mountain awaits you. Train well upon its slopes,
and perhaps we shall meet again at the summit.
K: The summit? Then you are… the Lord of the Mountain!
G: Part of him, anyway. Here to offer a peek… at what waits atop the peak. Farewell

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