Written by Sydney Edwards
Archibald Van Wiley: An uptight man who believes there are rules for a reason.
Casey Sullivan: A wily woman avoiding her debts by adventuring.
Archibald: You there, Ms. Casey Sullivan?
Archibald: I’d like a word.
Casey: Okay… radish.
Casey: Well you asked for a word.
Archibald does his best to keep himself collected. Casey seems rather pleased with
Casey: What might I do for you?
Archibald: I’m here on behalf of Mr. O’Donahue. It seems you are a few weeks late on your
payments and, well, the gentleman would like his money.
Casey: I don’t believe I caught your name good sir.
Archibald: I am Archibald Van Wiley fourth in line to beCasey: That’s great Archie, here’s the thing, I don’t have his money.
Archibald: Well then I’m afraid I must bring you in to speak with him personally.
Archibald attempts to haul Casey off, but she breaks away, drawing her weapon.
Casey: Unhand me sir! I’m afraid my schedule is quite booked for the day.
They fight, Casey attacking first to catch him off guard. Archibald looks greatly offended
at the display.
Archibald: By Jove!
The two break apart, Casey seemingly impressed that Archibald can keep up.
Archibald: That was incredibly rude and entirely unprofessional! You cannot just attack people-
Casey attacks again, clearly having too much fun with the ordeal.
Archibald: Will you stop! There are rules to these kinds of things! Guidelines, safety measures
that need to be discussed beforehand.
Casey: Oh, two of my least favorite things.
Archibald: This is not a joke Ms. Sullivan. I am Archibald Van Wiley, fourth in line to be
archduke of the Southern Isles and I do declare if we are to proceed with this duel I shall need a
moment to prepare the proper paperwork. What’s that you’re doing with your hand there?
Casey stops mocking Archie and feigns innocence.
Casey: Oh nothing!
Archibald: You know what Ms. Casey Sullivan, you are without a doubt, the most artless,
half-witted, dreadfully vexing miscreant I have ever met!
Casey: Excuse you!
Archibald: On guard!
Archibald lunges forward with his attack. They fight. Archibald loses.
Casey: You’re a good man Archibald Van Winkle.
Archibald: It’s Van Wiley