By: Waltz Martin
Written for both characters to be played by and as any gender
Maus: So, you are my final opponent.
Lionheart: It does appear that you and I are the final two standing. I am the great Alex Lionheart, best swordfighter in the land, and you are…?
Maus: Maus. (sounds like Mouse)
Lionheart: You look exhausted. Have you really fought and won all nine battles coming into this one?
Maus: I have… we both have. How else would you be here?
Lionheart: My opponents and I came to a different ending than violence.
Maus: Different ending? The entire point of this contest is to see who is the best fighter. The only way to know that is to fight.
Lionheart: No one cares who the best fighter is, we are all just fighting for the prize and the title. So, which is it?
Maus: Which is what?
Lionheart: What are you fighting for? What will it take to convince you to put down your sword and let me take the prize. Gold? Status?
Maus: Neither.
Lionheart: Look at yourself. You are exhausted – tired, sweaty, like you could fall over with a light breeze. It’s all but guaranteed that you’ll lose if you face me- but if you take my offer, you’ll still have a prize.
Maus: You misunderstand me. I’m not in this for title or for prize – but for the love of the fight.
Lionheart: I’m sure there’s something that can persuade you to –
Maus: Coward.
Lionheart: I am not a coward, I just think –
Maus: If you’re not a coward, then fight me.
Lionheart: If you think about it –
Maus: Fight. Me.
Lionheart: If you insist.
They fight. Maus lands a blow in an unconventional manner.
Lionheart: You – what a dishonorable move!
Maus: Dishonorable? You are joking, right?
They continue to fight. Maus wins.
Maus: All but guaranteed I would lose, huh?
Lionheart: You cheated!
Maus: No, you cheated! I played fair and won all my fights, and you could not win even one.
Lionheart: If you had fought fairly –
Maus: If you had fought fairly, I would have faced a more worthy opponent. You call yourself the greatest swordfighter in the land, but you do not care for the art at all. It is nothing but a title for you.
Lionheart: One match does not mean you can take it from me.
Maus: I don’t care for the title. You can keep it if you want it so much. I am going to collect my prize.
Lionheart: I thought you didn’t care for the prize.
Maus: I don’t. But I am not going to turn down some well-earned money. Until next time – or, hopefully, until never.
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