The Ingenious Woman 

Single Sword (SS) / Smallsword (SmS) / Male/Male / Male/ Female / June 8, 2025

By Briyannah Simmons

Ali- a second Quixote, a grad student who believes herself to be a knight 

Samson- a realist and a concerned friend, presents himself as “the Knight of the Mirror”

ALI: The moon rises above the sturdy peaks and now is the time when wise knights settle into their slumbers; I am not wise. I shall instead visit my lady, Dulcinea, and feast upon her pure visage. 

(SAMSON enters)

SAMSON: Ali, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Sara has been saying some concerning- are those from the fencing club?

ALI: These? This here is my trusty blade, and this I have won from a scoundrel. 

SAMSON: Oh my God, you really did beat up Mr. Monk. Ali, this has gone too far. 

ALI: (Looks around) Who is’t thou dost address? 

SAMSON: You! 

ALI: Thou art mistaken. 

SAMSON : Then who are you?

ALI: Don Quixote.

SAMSON: Oh for goodness sake…

ALI: Who art thou?

SAMSON: You know me, Ali, I’m Samson. We’ve been friends since we were Freshmen. We’re fencing partners. 

ALI: Who?

SAMSON: Fine, if this is the only way to reach you: I am the… (trying to remember) Knight of the Mirror and my quest is to reveal the truth to fantastical fools.

ALI: Ah! (Aside) He’s a madman. 

SAMSON: Allison Quijano, mad woman of… Arizona, I challenge you to a duel!

ALI: Thou hast no blade…

SAMSON: Then lend me your stolen one. 

ALI: Nay! T’would be unfit to duel a man not within his wits. Good evening. 

SAMSON: Don Quixote is a coward and his “lady” is a… bad barista.

ALI: Thou hast hit thy mark now! (Draws sword and tosses other to Samson) Strike fool and learn thine lesson!

(They fight. In the scuffle, Samson takes a bad hit to the head.)

SAMSON: Thank you for the warm up, but now let’s actually fight. 

(They fight more)

ALI: Thy skills show refinement. 

SAMSON: Yours are lacking. 

(They fight)

SAMSON: Now for a real challenge. (Swaps hands)

(They fight on until Ali lands a deadly blow on Samson. He cries out in pain and collapses to his knees.)

SAMSON: Thou hast slain me, madam…

ALI: Poor fool, thou shalt die a noble death. Adieu. 

(Samson dies. Ali closes his eyes and then exits. After a moment, Samson shoots back up.)

SAMSON: Wait! God dammit!






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